Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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