you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
