Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
