oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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