So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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