Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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