I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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