just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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