If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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