im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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