I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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