After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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