I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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