is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize