Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
