ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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