Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize