I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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