Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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