I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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