Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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