Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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