she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
