Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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