In the future we'll all be gay
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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