3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
