apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you didnt know i had herpes?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize