Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
