Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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