The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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