Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
soo... how was my night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
