garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
