she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
