do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
