What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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