is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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