I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
