Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
