I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
