its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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