So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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