I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if only i could text you this smell
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
