You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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