i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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