all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you never un-have a 4some
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
