he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
