I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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