I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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