I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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