omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize