24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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