You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So drunk its hurt
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
