ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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