Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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