Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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