I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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