i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
