I am puke
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize